To Mum, Yanty Yusof
#heart
First and foremost, Happy Mother's Day to my mum and all the mothers around the world. One could not just celebrate Mother's Day every 2nd Sunday of May in the Year because Mother's Day is everyday as a mother is always working, even after you went to bed. Today is not just Mother's day for me, my whole family was bonding watching movie with our home theatre. Nothing special done for today because my mum is too special to even do anything for her, is no match to all the things she had done for me. For 17 years with her has been awesome, even the fight she had to go through with me and all the bad mood, crying, anger, frustration, depression, complaining, isolation and my most depressing and annoying replied to her when she wants me to do the laundry.
#newborn
It is unfair, after 9 months of expecting me, and afterward all she gained is the pain of birth. Not many could survive the pain of giving birth, but my mum did and still is surviving my tantrum. But then again, no such thing as a perfect child and definitely not Sabrina. My mum is the best mother, but never the worst because no matter what, she listened to my everyday sometimes pathetic stories. Things happened in school, during the assembly, chatters in Mandarin class, assessments in Business Studies, how my mathematics class ended up with lots of homework?. All that nobody even want to listen to, my mum did. Till one day, I kept quite on my way home in the car and my mum knows, "Okayyyy, what's your story today?" *she did not exactly mentioned this, but silently I can feel those words crawling and whispering in my ears* to tell me that, my mum knows something is not right. Of course, this is not the reason why my mum is the best.
#likebestsmileever
In fact, to be honest, mum and I aren't that close to each other because to see my sister's relationship with my mum, my little sister is her greatest companion. Although I felt that way sometimes, mum is still my first best friend, my heroin, my super woman, my wonder woman, my reason to do things*like waking up early in the morning* and my love. When my little sister was born, it's like another of my mum did she, as Mimi is just like our mother, very caring yet fierce, adorable yet ferocious but gentle and compassionate. Mum had done so many that to even mention it all, here is not enough. She always has my back even when I couldn't stand anymore, but she is there for me, not to watch me fall, but to give strength for me to stand up again.
#dress
Every time I visited the old folks home and looking at all the parents, even during festive seasons, is heartbroken! How can one be so busy to take care of their own parents and leave them without feeling guilt at night and yet fast asleep? I am so afraid and so scared if in the future, it is my parents at the old folks home because of how addicted one to work is and how one is after fortune. Which is why, I want to bond the strongest relationship with my parents, but my annoying attitude is in the way. There is only one place I don't want my parents to be, that is the Old Folks Home. Still, mum is the best because I grew up knowing she is there for me all the time when her's didn't. She always wants the best for me and gives her every effort to strenghten me up. I could have never made it out of life alive, but instead I did when I did not give my very best to her back. Mum has never asked for anything in return but my love and care for her.
#red
Was it hard for that only in return? NO! Or maybe. I simply have the tendency to somehow ruin her life a little *so many laundry* *asked her to ask the waiter to get a tissue in a restaurant* *cooking the food I want* *make a mess in my room* *plays the piano horribly at night* *watched movies till late midnight* *Wakes up late in the morning* *Takes my sweet time to get ready for school* *leave my dishes* *asked her where did I put my IC Card* *forgot about tuition or piano class* *asked her stupid question* *27 minutes of showering* and *complaining* and the list of 'Sabrina's miserable things to do' goes on. After all that, she still greets me with a smile in the morning and kissed me good night. She still holds my hand when we crossed the road and packed my breakfast and lunch. If you're reading this Mum, why would you that though? Simply because you love me so much till it did not really matter how different we are from each other. My Mum will go to heaven because of me because she is creating good deeds every time she handle me.
#mothersday
There are times I made her happy too, I am not that horrible as a person. This Mother's Day, is to appreciate her as my mother and she will always be first in my prayers. She has never let me down so I don't want to let her down and that Allah will always give her all the strength to deal with me for so many more years to come.
Despite my not-so-close-mother-daughter relationship with her, but she is forever in my heart because I know she will takes good care of my love and no one is worth my loving care than her and I can never give out so much love more than hers, hers is simply firework-bubbles-stars-hearts-sprinkle-glitter-fairies-explosion love. YUP! Just about the right definition of my mum's love for me. At the end of the day, no matter how much I realized how chaotic my trouble is to her, she still loves me not because she is my mother and all mothers have to love their children also she believes that there's good in me as
equal as, my topsy-turvy attitudes and I will also be her pain in the ass but the medicine to her pain too. When I almost lose her this year, I felt like I am not only going to lose a mother, but my best friend, my listener, my advisor, my dictionary, my grammar checker, my love, my heart, my life, my mathematic solver, my best chef, my greatest nagger and
my hope. There is no one to replace her after all which is why I cried every night and my own sister had to put me to sleep and I cried on my very birthday because what's candle on the birthday cake without the person that has always lighten me up. I couldn't thank my god, Allah for saving my mother.
#mother
Mum was right when she said "You could not live without me". I couldn't. I had my family coming down to Johor from Kuala Lmpur but I felt lonely at home that time. I could barely say a word to anyone and lose my appetite, those indeed were a horrible memory. To be honest, every time it's someone's birthday, my memory goes back to when I felt that loneliness. It is not your fault Mum. You would have been there, but my birthday is everyday when I am with you except there's no cake and balloons but my mum is there. I still need my mum to pick out a meal from the menu and to pick out an outfit when I am going out. Thank you is all I can say because you know what is best. On this Mother's Day, please forgive me for what I have done and for what I will do in the future.
To all the kids out there, appreciate your mum every day because we can never really feel lonely until your mum is not around. Not even Twitter or FB on your gadgets can make you feel that lonely. Here I am writing this blog for my mum and all of you, missing my game. (0-1) :(
TO ALL THE MUMS AND KIDS,
#magic
Thank You Mother, for your tender loving and care for my siblings and
I.
Love,
Sabrina Nasri Nar Bahadur, Rebellious Rose Writer.
