Dreams, Dreams, Go Away. Come Again, In No Other Day

Because,

I have trouble sleeping at night, some nights are because of my homework and some because I chose not to go to sleep so early as going to bed is into the movie ' Elm Street ' *If you ever watched it*.  It's like everywhere I go or whenever I sleep, it will keep on following me. 'He' I called my nightmares. He comes in many forms and it really is does not matter if He appeared to be a woman. 

What if I tell you, I can the future in my sleep and had to go through it again in my future, what will you say about me? Even if I was to take a 20 minute nap, but I know He's watching me already. He's watching as I write this blog and He's watching as I slowly close my eyes and see only the darkness before me. I am not writing about a ghost story, but it is the ability I have. Not all of my dreams I wish to come true. Sometimes I could not differ whether I am going through it in reality or it is just a dream. Nope! I have no control over it because it happens spontaneously in my dreams. 

The worst I had to see in my dream is when the things around me went in a fast motion on the night my grandfather died. Mum opened her room door and rushed out in shocked, she stared at me for a while and I knew something was wrong from her eyes. Her beloved father had a heart attack. I was with my aunt, Mas, we were watching the television. I could not see the time or the day, but I saw everything happen. Flashed through my mind was the picture of grandfather suffering to survive this deadly, damn deadly heart attack! I was only 11. It was the final year I celebrated my birthday with him. Of course, when I had the dream,  I didn't know how old am I. Two weeks pass, same place (living room), Television was on and my aunt next to me. It really happened, I could not believe it at first, but when Mum drove off the garage, I knew that I went through this before. The next day, not a single tear shed down my round cheeks, but deep down inside, I was prepared for this to happen, waiting for the moment when 'He' could teared off my heart to pieces in the inside but I was pretty cool outside.

I saw him lying down, wrapped in white sheets was my grandfather. He was one heck of an awesome grandpa. I practically grew up with him. I hold those tears and actually went home. My house was only a few blocks away. I could not tell what I was feeling anymore. I cried before and here I am again, crying my eyes out because my grandfather was my best friend too. 

But 'He', I could see him sometimes in my real life or when I am not asleep. Pretty creepy to be telling this to you, but it was a fact that my nightmares and dreams do come true. 

Putting aside my nightmares, came my dreams. I have always wanted to ride a sport car but not just any sports car and guess what! I had a dream that my dad got a new BMW Sports car we were going off for a shopping with my aunt. I dreamt  I was locking the gate, but then about 2 months after, it came true. I was locking the gate and there I remembered and stood for quite a long time for me to realize.Some of these dreams I had might happen twice or more in my real life. Wicked!  

Although there are times, I rather visit 'He' for fun than to face my real life. He is my fantasy and my world of darkness. Just close my eyes and there I was in his world. He doesn't let me control the story because that's just his job. Mum and Dad always told me to pray before I go to bed to avoid nightmares, but I don't think Mum and Dad understand that I prayed and still get 'He' to visit me at night or morning.

'He' keeps me away from my problems a while because I cannot run from it. It's not just how things work in our life. Surprisingly, I am not actually scared of the dark BUT what is in the dark that kept me in the light. I get dreams every night, but the one that I forget is the one that is going to happen in my reality. It might take a year or even 10 years from now, but I can assure that it will happen. This may terror me, but I think it is what that been trying to keep me strong. I pay strong attention to my surroundings like right now, there's a fight between families in my neighborhood. I can hear their words crawling through the walls. It's how I know or it is how I tell that I am not in His world in my mind. 

At the end, between my world and his, the only difference is that we are connected but somehow so far apart yet one world combined. I am not scared to go to sleep now or to dream because my curiosity grew to know what is going to happen. Although the God is the one that determined my future, but having dreams like this is like an early future for me and I guess homeworks are stacking as I write this blog too. *laughing* 

Gooodnight, xxx 

Dreams and Nightmares, 

Sabrina Nasri Nar Bahadur, Rebellious Rose Writer. 

That Easter Questions

Evening readers,

About Easter, my brother and a couple of his friends had an easter late night party at one of his classmates' house on the 19th and it continued till 20th April. Easter was actually celebrated by the Christian that follows the sorrow of Good Friday and Holy Saturday. However, there was no praying or some sort of worshipping at the party, but just fun and games.

Bunnies are in charge of giving and sending little painted eggs *which is actually a chocolate* to little children. *Seen it in Rise of The Guardian* but my point of bringing out this topic was when my little brother came out with some questions;


" Do Rabbits lay eggs or give birth to their offspring?" *but I was reacting like "WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?!" * and so he asked again
"If Bunnies don't lay eggs, how do bunnies related to Easter and why are they called Easter Bunnies?"
I was dumbfounded and stood quietly like an IDIOT for a while.

As far I know, Easter has easter bunnies and chocolates!!  Honestly, I did a research on it after that. According to the University of Florida's Center for Children's Literature and Culture, the origin of the Easter Bunnies traced from all the way back in the 13th- Century. The pre-christian Germany era, where people worshipped some gods and goddess. One of them was the Teutonic deity, Eostre, goddess of spring and fertility. She had a symbol, a Hare, because they have the highest reproduction rate. It was then changed to Bunny. They have been associated with Springtime and since Eostre,  was the symbol of rebirth as well, her companion the hare has a connection with the Christian Easter Festival.

As for many children, every easter is an adventure outside their garden looking for coloured eggs. So although bunnies don't lay eggs, but why eggs are associated as well?
The tradition of bunnies bringing eggs to children comes from the 17th Century. Traditionally, the eggs of Easter symbolized the empty tomb of Christ and it had been customary to eat the eggs. Only in the modern twisted tradition had eggs made out of chocolate.

To my little brother, Qayyim Bahadur

That's it!

About That Girl, Sabrina Nasri Nar!

Hi there readers,

It's Sabrina Nasri Nar Bahadur here, currently 17 and living the school life in Fairview International School. I was born in the month of Pisces, to be exact its on March 17,1997 in the Rubbis Fina Hospital and I am a Monday kid though I dislike Mondays. Yes, I am an Asian, from Malaysia but you might be wondering what race am I because if you were to attend a family gathering, you'll feel like the whole Malaysia is here! I am a mixed of Nepalis and Chinese from my dad's side and a mixed of Javanese and a bit of the middle east from my mother's side. It is up to anyone to call what race I am but I have a long history of my family background if I were to tell you now. I am a proud Muslim too. 

#np Till' I Collapse

I enjoyed music very much that it became my favourite hobby. I am a fan of many bands such as the Lawson, The Fray, One Republic, All Time Low, Coldplay, Capital City, Kodaline and the list go on and on. Although I enjoyed pop songs, country musics, alternative rock and etc, 

#np Love 

I enjoy classical musics too so I started playing piano since I was in 5th grade. Currently I am in Grade 5 on piano because I skipped Grade 1 and 3. I skipped a year without preparing for piano practical exam due to the lots of work in school so kinda left behind with what I caught up. Apart from listening and blasting musics in my room (not that I enjoy annoying mum and dad or anything). 

#np Surfboard

I enjoyed reading and eating. Ever since young, I love reading books written by Enid Blyton and so I grew reading more English books compare to other languages. I love eating and everyone who knows me well knows I ate quite a lot. I love cakes, chicken dishes, light spicy gravy because I cannot stand eating spices, I dislike fish dishes but I love eating boneless fish (Fish and Chips) *I'm starting to make no sense*  and my ultimate favourite is the dishes cooked on Eid Al-Fitr, Chicken in Tomato-Chilli Sauce  and Mutton Rendang.

#np Summertime Sadness

Surprisingly I enjoy writing poems because I have interest in it since I was in Grade 8 and sitting there being lazy, scrolling down on Twitter and Instagram is also one of my addictive things to do, go ahead and follow me @tweetmusically and @musicallyactive.  I am also a very forgetful person therefore I need to write down everything in my planner and I will be checking it from time to time.

#np Me and My Broken Heart

Why 'Rebellious Rose'? 

Everyone symbolized Rose as love but as for me, a rose is beautiful disguise of a cruel little living thing. It is also fragile, therefore it is surrounded by prickly deadly thorn *okay, probably not deadly* but it shows that a Rose needs her protection to keep predators *bad people* away so it will remain in a safe hand and are not easily hurt.

#np Fast Car

Rebellious, because not all innocent and fragile little things remained the same, with the protection given, a rose will get away with whatever rebellious things it does, no one puts the blamed on the rose for bleed a person, do you?

#np Berzerk 

In case you want to give me a feedback on this blog, please contact me through my e-mail at 17islegit@gmail.com. You can email me if you want me to give my point of view on just about anything or my responds to whatever. Anything, emailed me so I can write more. 

MUCH LOVE,
Sabrina, Rebellious Rose Writer <3